I have been mulling over a post that I want to write ever since I started this blog. I am not quite finished mulling yet - I still have some tweaking to do before I type it out. I have a habit of rehearsing emails, conversations and various other scenarios in my mind before I actually go through with them. Sometimes, it is a method of tweaking - getting all of the kinks out of the email and saying just exactly what I want to say. Sometimes, I rehearse a conversation that may or may not ever take place. That is likely where I will lose a lot of you, although you did willingly read a post from "The Looney Bin." I find this sort of thing very helpful - whether it is to keep myself from saying things that should not be said, or to mull over what really needs to be said and what is mere excess.
In any case, I am not ready to write that other blog yet, but I do have some reflections on marriage for this evening. I do not pretend to be an expert on the subject. I am well aware that I am a mere novice, and can humbly say that I have learned far more about love and marriage than maybe, if I am honest, I thought I needed to learn. I am reminded more and more how "simple" love can be. Not in essence or quality, but the fact that love often boils down to "the little things." I find it difficult to describe marriage sometimes because "love" and "marriage" are not synonymous. I find that a lot of people have grandiose scenarios in their mind that equal love. Everyone is itching to have that perfect engagement story that all their friends are so jealous of, the spouse that everyone agrees is drop-dead gorgeous, and the pictures and stories to prove that they are a great couple. And you know what, sometimes amazing marriages and those couple who are truly head-over-heels in love do have amazing stories, great pictures and the perfect engagement. But you know what my experience has been? Day in, day out - hard work, great laughs, a handsome man (and now the cutest baby, too!), tears, struggles, early mornings, great pictures, patience, oh, and did I mention hard work? :)
Today, I just want to reflect on the little things. Mostly due to a lot of financial strain in our marriage thus far, and partially due to everyday life - my husband has not whisked me away to the Caribbean for our anniversary or a spa for the weekend of my birthday. You know what? Sometimes, we can't "do" anything for anniversaries or birthdays but just stay in and have supper. Do I really care? No. I have learned, and am still learning that a lot of average days can equal extraordinary love.
Today, love is the little things.
Love is spending an evening alone at home while my husband (and baby) get the sleep they desperately need.
Love is waking up at 6:00 a.m. to make egg salad sandwiches for your husband's lunch, even though you were up twice with the baby in the night.
Love is leaving out your favourite spice in a meal, so your husband will enjoy it more.
Love is finding a 'treat' (on sale - always on sale!) for your husband during each grocery trip.
Love is learning (maybe, finally learning) not to over-plan your weekend because your husband needs to recharge for his work week ahead.
Love is doing these things with a smile, and meaning it.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13)
There may be spa weekends and exotic trips in years to come - but it is the practice of "little things" now that gets you to those years to come.
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